Let's All Fly A Kite
Wind
Once upon a time, Chris Gasper and I were setting up on Southend’s pier. We didn’t have the tallest of booths and by the RNLI’s marquee, we sheltered in a corner, protected, or so we thought. It was when it stated to blow away, that I did what I swear I would never do… I dismantled the theatre and moved on. Chris did likewise. That day, the Thames Estuary saw the launch of every emergency craft, as the local Regatta’s sailing boats were flattened by the wind. We rebuilt and were brilliant but that goes without saying. Not for the feint hearted Southend; this year the gust speeds were forecast to be in excess of 60mph. ‘We’ the hapless hero’s set-up in an enclave, only to be roundly admonished for using the space reserved for the bins – it’s good to know your place, that’s what I always say. Thankfully the ladies quelled the riot at this end of the pier – I was walked off to the café for a sticky bun and coffee.
Locating the theatre is only a partial answer. I’m detecting a growing preponderance of clients who have exactly no idea as to our constraints, particularly when it comes to booths built from components. One client asked whether they could carry me on stage, watch the show then carry me off afterwards. Now I’m a heavy chap and the thought of lifting me isn’t something anyone should casually contemplate, but my theatre? Really?! I’ve taken the time to include a picture, in my ‘Confirmation of Booking Form’, of the naked, undressed, framework (just to help clients appreciate what it is they are hiring). The Professors of yesteryear used to tie a belt to the booth sides that ran from one side to the other. Then, while working, they stood on the strap and were ‘assured’ the fit up was going nowhere. The frame, built one-piece (so to speak) had nothing more than a small excuse for a proscenium arch – woe betides you if you decide to put the sail up and have an oversized fascia.
Gazebo weights, hollow plastic, filled with water, capable of bolting around the ‘tents’ legs provide some weight and restraint. Do not rely on these.John ‘Chippy’ Wood set-up in a field surrounded by similar gazebo set-ups, only to see the local tornado (I’m not joking) flatten everything around him. His booth stood tall, unaffected. Sure, it jumped six inches in the air, but the road pin stakes driven into the sod, at each corner, did their job and besides, the lazy-tongs etc., were well-made from dense 25mm x 25mm hard wood.
Tying the booth down with a couple of nylon strings, to the local bench or chair won’t cut it, especially as it looks like global warming, in addition to giving us floods, is also going to increase the wind velocity.
My smallest theatre has ‘broken’ hinges of several types that ensure the top half and bottom half do not split apart. This year I set up at a fete. The wind blew the very secure booth at an angle I’ll never forget and I turned to the client and said – ‘Sorry, it’s coming down, this is just too dangerous to contemplate’. Surprisingly, without hesitation, they agreed and they paid me my petrol money home. Once only has this ever happened before. I was on the beach at Broadstairs, the wind speed exceeded 25mph and my son screamed at me to knock-down. The booth contorted to a very odd shape but being timber and softwood, nothing bent or snapped and the following day, we joined the list of names of the exemplary Professors who had preceded us who had graced the sands and who hadn’t been boring.
At the time of writing, a luxury yacht has over-turned and sunk, in part due to the size of its mast-this being hit by the wind. You’d think, thin slivers of wood, such as the uprights of a punch-frame, wouldn’t be affected by the wind blowing through the unclad framework. But not so. It’s during erection and the dismantling ‘we’ are at our most vulnerable and you’d do well to ask for help during these moments from every willing, or otherwise, passers-by.
Make sure your proscenium is adequately fixed to the framework. Glued and screwed is an absolute minimum. Internal guy ropes are preferred but external guy ropes may be needed. Scout tents have their guy ropes fixed to a timber turned finial, that fits over a spike (sound familiar) but you’d probably need an extra long spike and your cloth lid adapting to suit. It was this ‘Chippy’ and I used to tie down to the dense wooden planks on Southend Pier and it was something similar to this that the most sensible ‘Prof’s used recently as we took, once again, to the pier head, Southend.
As we close-out of the summer that was 2024, I’m going to critically analyse the fit-ups at my disposal, just to see that I’ve incorporated all the ‘tie-downs’ that I could. The small fit-up, sits in timber shoes that poke through some floor boards. Once pinned down and weighted, it would take a lot to move it but that doesn’t stop me worrying. I risk assess all the time.
Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you,
But when the flags are flying and the booth is rocking
The wind is passing through….